A true midwife will be 'with woman', while at the same time supporting her desire to be free. This is expressed beautifully in the ancient statement attributed to Tao Te Ching, about 2000 years ago,
You are a midwife.
You are assisting at someone else's birth.
Do good without show or fuss.
Facilitate what is happening
rather than what you think ought to be happening.
If you must, take the lead.
Lead so that the mother is helped, yet still free and in charge.
When the babe is born the mother will rightly say
"We did it ourselves".