Thursday, October 20, 2016

Idealism and midwifery

It's very easy to find evidence of idealism in anything that pertains to the birth of a baby.  After all, a new life is being brought into our world: precious, full of potential, carrying a unique blend of special characteristics of both parents - both families - into the future.

Idealism happens to some of us time and time again.  Each time I gave birth I found myself wanting to make this world better for that wee one.  I wanted to be a better mother.  I wanted us as a family to provide a better home. 

...   and then, after a few sleepless hours, with a baby who was simply doing what all healthy babies must do, which is to find food, my idealism was truly tested.  My beloved, lying wearily beside me in our bed, had no adequate solution either. 

Over time I became reconciled to the huge gulf between the ideal and the actual.  I learnt that it was, in fact, advantageous for a baby to come into this imperfect world, where the mother, despite her best intentions, is unable to solve every problem.  A world where the baby learns that there are times when both parents are unable to perform to their usual capacity; where there's no-one making eye contact or vowing their love; where even a dripping moist nipple at the end of a full breast fails miserably to meet the need.

If the home was always ideal, how would the child ever cope with the real world?

Conversely, if the mother did not have idealism deep in her heart; if she did not want the best she could possibly provide for her family, how would any child thrive?
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A similar dilemma exists in midwifery.

The ideal is that each woman receives a primary level of professional care from a known and trusted midwife.  The ideal is that the woman and the midwife work in a special partnership that provides optimal care and achieves optimal outcomes for mother and child.   The ideal is that the mother's body will function without illness or complication.  The ideal is that the midwife's wisdom will enhance the woman's acceptance of new and primal terrain that must be traversed. 

The reality may be very different.

Our lives are often messed up, at all levels of our physical, social, psychological, and spiritual existence.   In fact, I have been amazed at how often the processes of pregnancy and birth and nurture of the newborn come together in beautiful harmony, demonstrating the wonder of creation.  The way our bodies function in health, as finely integrated systems, is good.   Illness and disease have, to a greater or lesser degree, corrupted this state of goodness.

Dear reader, I need to sign off now, but will plan to return to this theme as soon as I can.



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